Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
