Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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