You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So vagazzling was a success
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
