Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
