The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
