she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
