i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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