Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
