you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
