Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
