my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
