Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize