They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
