She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You ate ashes out of my bong
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
