hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
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