Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
