1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
