In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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