Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
this boner is exhausting
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
