Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
