What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
