where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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