Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
