i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
