Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
