Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Randomize
