I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
