How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
