i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
