My friends, they love my intelligence
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
