she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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