yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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