you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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