Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
