She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
