It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
