the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
