Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
