you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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