Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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