at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she pinky promised me she was 18
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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