Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
