I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
