i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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