just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
