so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
