8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
