why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
