Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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