This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
