i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
party gras won. party gras always wins.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
